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Ahhh...

Baru saja merasakan puncak kejenuhan dan kesalahan 2017 hari ini and very very early... I don't know why. 

Ngga tau kenapa rasanya ingin sekali buat postingan ini. Mostly about academical experience I had. Just to let you know that I've had tough years backwards. Yes, you don't misread, year(s). Benar-benar sedang di tahap dimana kok rasa-rasanya gue tidak pernah mendapatkan hasil bagus nan memuaskan in any occassion sejak masuk kuliahan. Well, gak bisa dipungkiri juga kalo memang hasil berbanding dengan usaha dan mungkin usaha gue tidak cukup kuat jika dibandingkan dengan teman-teman lain sehingga selalu pas-pasan.. 

Intinya sih, lelah jadi pas-pasan. Atau bahkan kurang?

Gak bermaksud buat menjadi rendah diri.. tapi emang cuma lagi pengen ngomong apa adanya. That I haven't achieved any goals that I set for my grades ever since I stepped into industrial engineering. 

Just by today, jadi ceritanya habis kuis. Dan gue setolol itu untuk "tetep" salah jawab, meanwhile most of my classmate gain an excellent 100. Kuisnya cuma 3 soal, UDAH PERNAH dijadiin PR, and very very simple. Tapi kayak TETEP AJA ADA yang SALAH NGITUNG? Capek gak sih? Capek jir..

Sebelum kuis juga nanya sama temen-temen, "belajar gak?" pada jawab sekenanya. Kayaknya sih pada belajar-belajar-an aja nih padaan. Maksudnya ya baca-baca aja gitu. Gue juga gitu. Berhubung sebelumnya udah pernah tugas, ngerjain sendiri dan ngerasa bisa, jadi kayak ngerasa aja gitu soalnya pasti ga jauh-jauh dari situ? Jadi cuma baca-baca juga gue semalem.. 

Ada juga yang bilang belom belajar. AND TURNS OUT... dia kayaknya 100 gitu loh. Gue seneng pada 100, tapi ya pengen juga gitu loh. I be like, duh...? Can't I just be like that for once?!

Gue like literally jarang, atau bahkan gak pernah, tu yang namanya gak belajar terus tbtb 100? Kalo hoki mungkin yes. Capek bgt jing. Ngerasa setolol itu. Sepanjang jalan pulang terus mikir "ay, lo fix bego banget. Soalnya udah pernah dan gampang, tapi lo gak 100". Gue dari planet mana ni mon maap?!

---

Throwback lagi beberapa hari lalu, 

Seorang temen lagi mau ngurus KP, jadi dia bawa kan transcript dan segala macem dokumen. Gue iseng sih pengen liat aja bentukan proposal KP kayak gimana, soalnya belom bikin. WOY. IPK NYA 3.7 DONG?!

Setelah yang kita lalui bersama???

Prolin

PPIC

Kanban

TLP

AKI

(ini mah emang gue yang jelek kali?) LO MASIH BISA SEGITU??? Luar biasa sih... ingin. :')

Yaudah akhirnya ikhlas aja kan tu daripada mengenang-ngenang kebodohan diri di masa lalu di matkul-matkul mematikan itu

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Terus baru aja ditolak lomba. Kalah gitu maksudnya baru preliminary awal...

Bertiga sih lombanya. Eh tapi, yakali dah ama lomba aja lo ditolak? Sedih uga. Throwback lagi Januari awal, ikut lomba sama temen. Kita yakin banget ini lomba potensial menang, soalnya publikasinya ga bagus, jadi pasti yang ikut dikit. HEHEHE :))) Eh goblo uga, ternyata peserta yang pada ikut yang udah langganan ampe 7 tahun dong?! Mohon maap. Kubur lagi ae tu mimpi..

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Seketika gue menyadari, bahwasanya akhir-akhir ini sedang banyak skip sholat Subuh. :(

Maybe that's the only reason of why I will never have a miracle in my grades. That maybe I never have a stable-constant prayer for years..

Then I believe..

It's okay to ask something impossible to God. I believe, it's a 100:101 ratio between effort and prayer. Which means, I should've let myself pray much harder than ever. 

By this time, I confess that I've just belittle the power of prayer. That I forget, Allah is so much bigger than all my problems and all my anxiety. All I need is to ask. Ask. Ask. What a priviledge to do so...

---

Back to a year ago, ketika banyak banget mengalami penolakan. Ignorance is following me wherever I go. Ketika ditolak menjadi asisten lab, yang hingga kini gue ngga tau kenapa, hingga berujung trauma dan enggan untuk melakukan apa-apa. And how I wonder someone that maybe didn't want it as much as I did, ended up getting whatever I (wish) I had right now. 

Back to a year ago, while I still have a boyfriend. (Yes, I also broke up this early year). Or simply, someone to talk to. Since I don't belong to any peer group in college, I feel like mostly all alone. It sometimes bothers, but I don't take it seriously. Well anyway, at this moment I don't have someone to talk to. My besties are busy on their own. So, since breaking up I must keep these things and feelings all alone..

---

All these failures lead me to one deep thinking which is, "am I not that good?". Like it's happening, when you don't know whether to continue and try harder to escalate your poor little life, or just simply go with the flow and be happy for whatever the result? 

Dan jujur... karena semua hal-hal kecil yang bikin salah gini, gue sekarang jadi ngerasa takut banget kalo gagal. Karena kayaknya apa aja salah gitu. Semacam menjadi terlatih untuk menerima hasil apa adanya

Terkadang kalo ditanya sama temen, kalo udah gede mau jadi apa. Gue jawab simpel aja sih mau bahagia. Tapi well, yaudah at least I wanna be happy. Like, literally mau seneng aja hidupnya. Belum pernah merasakan ambisi untuk menjadi akademisi pinter yang harus S2 S3, atau jadi CEO apa.. 

Mau punya keluarga bahagia. Punya anak-anak dengan behave yang baik dan juga cerdas. Bisa berkreasi tanpa harus kerja dituntut waktu. Bisa menghabiskan waktu lebih untuk hobi. Punya pasangan yang dewasa dan tulus menerima apa adanya. Yaa kalo ada rezeki buat senang-senang juga mau sih.. 

If you know my life background, then you must realize why I wonder these things. 

---

Selalu berpikir untuk mengubah keadaan. For a better life-changing experience, I plan sometimes. Kadang bingung juga untuk mewujudkannya karena gue pasti kayak "ah ga mungkin lo kan mager". Ended up plan is only a plan. 

Entahlah.

Writing this post FULL OF FAILURES makes me feel like I really need miracle. That maybe a miracle of making me triggered to change my fate? Or what. I don't know. 

But I believe, whenever I come back and see this post. And I still feel the same. Well, I must not change at all. So please.. dear myself, don't. I hope we can change our fate :( like for sake, I hope so!!! Huhuhu...

HAPPY ME, IM LOVIN IT!

These last 2 weeks, not even my birthday yet, but they were sooo full of surprises!!! 

8 & 10

Senior Post Thesis photo session

...aye man, you have no idea abt this! :$

11

a sudden meeting with the goddamn fvckingguyshitomgeezzz

...at a seminar, which made it even more weird.

and I feel lyk, just okay.

(WOW shoo proud of myself! Move on detected;))

12

I and Naura finally met up with dad!!! OMG :')

We had a quality time together although only in a few hours, but it healed me so much.. and it gets better since we are planning to do a short trip together! The most awaited event, NOTED!

CHU<3

and also...

Got accepted as a core team member of StudentsxCEOs Jakarta Chapter batch 4, Operation Division. Yayness!

13

GOT MY TICKET FOR BIGBANG MADE TOUR INA 2015 HELL YEA!!!

after those fvcking stressing hours waiting for tixbox and feeling insecure for not winning the ticket war. Yuhu!

This week even crazier... how the hell is everything went very well just like what I've been wondering. It's a great relief to know asdfghjkl feeling. HAHA. Special thanks to Alif best senior slash BigBang partner slash tempat curhat:') (?), for helping me this much! I'm nothing without u man! :')

K, now I'm blushing.

Alhamdulillahirabbil 'alamiin ya Allah SWT

Semoga ini akan barakallah selalu dan tiada hentinya.. :')

Aamiin allahumma aamiin

Not Just A Broadway Musical

GEEZ!

Today was beyonddd amazing!!! Just finally experienced a Broadway musical theatre "Beauty and The Beast" at Ciputra Artpreneur with Naura, my sissy! Yes, Naura. Since we had a lot of fight at home, but we still could manage to have a quality day out together as a normal sibling. DAYUMMM

The show, I told you, was omg so beautiful! I mean...

their live music was so clear, fun, and very suitable in each occasion 

NO LIPSYNC anyway (and each of them has an original voice which sounds so damn good)

the stage and all props!

the costumes! <3

the choreograph wes very neat, and they really did give many attentions to details. I love!

and of course, some jokes to cheer the room

I, wholeheartedly, salute the director, art director, music artistic, and everyone in it. Thanks for bringing us the best musical theatre experience. Well, let's say that... it's almost flawless. :)

We are not allowed to turn on any devices during the show. So just... selfies. 

...and many thanks to a man behind this pretty handwriting. We both are feel very pleased and so proud and so happy and and and... well, we are so lucky to have you. It's been almost 8 years since our last meeting and we miss you so damn much.. u know

It hurts sometimes that every time I was thinking about you, tears come down. Idk, I couldn't help myself. It hurts for sure. I and Naura even had a hard time on our way home. In taxi, at first we just did lite convo until we get deeper into a conversation about you. We couldn't hold it, so... we cried in taxi. Yeah, that was stupid. But it really hurts. Did we ever tell you that hugging you and kissing you is at our 1st life goal? Well, it is. OMG crap. Naura means everything to me. Since she is the only one who feel the same way to me for so long, and only you who unite us. I, honestly, that part was one of the best sister-sharing session ever in my life. 

Crap.

I miss you even more right now.. 

Damn.

Well, promise that we are gonna meet soon okay? We can't hold this pain any longer. We miss you... love you. Always.

I told you, it's not just about the broadway musical

Hopefully soon...

Plese, pretty damn soon.

Fashion Fairy Tale!!!

The title... ok, I'm inspired by Barbie and Fashion Fairy tale ahahaha :p seriously! Since, I am sooooo interested in movies, so now I will talk about movies. And my current favorite shows are now Jane by Design and Once Upon A Time. I saw it first on Star World and they made me in love from the first I watched them!

As you know, I'm so crazy about fashion and how would it be if it comes into a movie??? I can't help myself. And so Jane by Design, even I only watched it for twice but I so fell with the concept and the clotheeesss. Oh really, they made me crazy. 

Have I told you that I'm kind of person which love things related to fairy tale-reality? Well, I do. That's why I like Once Upon A Time as I love Harry Potter, Tunnels series, and Stardust, etc. 

Seriously guys, you should watch and see them by yourself! ;)

Well, and now I'm working on my new project with my cinematography club. We are making a video which is like a short movie for our next school's event! It's REVIVAL 5TH! Yeay I'm so excited about this >.< eventough I found it's a bit hard to have shootings in eid holiday like this... and I'm as the producer. I know, I know... and this is my first time to be a producer. Usually, I become the director or co-director. Which one. And for sure, being a producer is one level higher than being a director ._. but I'm sure I could handle this one! Wish me luck guys ;) *cheers*

B-day, Not Bad-ay

Do I have to tell you the meaning behind my title? I think I don't. And I think you could conclude what I mean here. Seriously, I had my birthday on July 25th and I felt nothing's special on that day, like... as usual. For as long as I live, I think I had never got such a very very "BIG" things (means very big to me) on my birthday. Beside that, I should be grateful for what I have so far. Thankyou..


Once, I got suprise when I was in junior high school. I was very blessed at that time. Getting hit by flour, water, etc. it was so fun! But it was 3 years ago... I guess. Last year, I spent my bday with my bestieee Fathiyah! It was sooo simple yet sooo sweet :3 spending time afterschool by having dinner together, sharing about our new school. I couldn't ask for more! 
And this year... alhamdulillah, I'm turning 16. And on d-day, as I said, nothing special. One of my friend told some friends at school for not greeting me a bday in a day (until they reached home). Lucky me, it was only several of them. I still got many wishes from the other :)


At first I thought I won't get any wishes or gifts from them. But, after not-noticing-me-whole-day, they greet me on the night :') aaand the next day, I got a little cake with candles over it which was for celebrating Anin's bday on 21st and mine. Alsooo got a wishes and signature little book from some of my school friends! THANKYOU. My question is... why must be on 26th? Why didn't you give this to me on 25th for make it more special? :') nevermind, I appreciated it. Thankyou once again! :*

HAHA. I cried and laughed over this! Was too sweet... WAS. :))

And now my wishlist:

1. Just be a better person. In school, family, public, everywhere.

2. MORE DILLIGENT! Study hard, work hard, try harddd :)

3. My scores will increase

4. Got invitation for PTN, AAMIIN!

5. Could decide the final destination for myself, between business or oil engineering... (for college)

6. My passion for fashion will be longlasting. Also my knowledge and skill in fashion will increase

7. LESS-CONSUMTIVE. MORE SAVING!

8. Having holiday in out country!

9. More patient in every life-drama

10. Not wasting any chances

11. Find a perfect thing to earn own money for myself

12. Neon Pink Dr. Martens boots.

13. Win competition(s)

14. Always have fun with friends!

15. Boyfriend.

16. NO MORE PAIN. 

Could I? I do wish for all these things each day. I hope they are all coming true! Once again, thankyou Allah for the 16 years You gave to me. I'm sorry if some times I did mess and many bad things. All I want for the future is all the goodness, aamiin. And thanks for my parents, family, and friends! My love is here for you all... thankyou <3

Good News and GOODIES!

Aye aye everyone! Good news!!! A week ago I just took my report book at school. Well, despite of got my rank is a bit down, alhamdulillah I got SCIENCE CLASS! YIHIII ^_^ I'm so proud of myself you know?! Hihihi. I don't if it's just a miracle or what, but I've promised to myself to be a better person next grade and will always be like that :)


Oh and the other good news... I just made my own online shop! It's actually a project between me and Alita. Just to fill-up our super boring holiday, maybe? Hehe. Here, you can go directly into our twitter --> @ChoCloSHOP :) 


Even isn't my really first business (I've been doing selling-things since I were in elementary school), I found it a bit difficult. I don't know, maybe now there are too many online shops everywhere! Ergh, my life is surrounded by online shops -_- *okay this is too much* and maybe the other problem, it's so hard to find a "different" supplier (yes, for now we are doing reselling things) who has different stuffs and what is it.. not "pasaran". We are trying our best to serve different things. After getting a supplier, we thought it was the best, but actually it's not. Some friends told me that our price are just too...high. I don't even add many benefits for it. I've calculate it and make it as-reasonable-as-I-could. Anyway, this is such a valueable lesson for me. My wish? I wish I could OWN A CLOTHING LINE! Aamiin. :)


And the goodies! Oh, I almost forget it... couple weeks ago, or when I can't when exactly it was. I just won a quiz from @ourHERMIONE! I got an outerwear, a loose blouse or maybe a dress, and a braided necklace. Yay! I'm so happy :) thankyou Hermione! For sure, at first I didn't know so well about this brand. They are a local brand, with good good good quality stuffs (I really mean it guys). Their collections are mostly a basic-wear which you can wear it for daily or for hangout. They must be so cool. By the way, they picked me as the winner because they liked the tagline that I gave to them. It's "Simple Yet Stunning", and so they are! I'm so honored knowing that they made it as their new tagline. Hihi. Btw check their collections at their twitter or Facebook here. 

Anyway, I wish to be a better blogger. Share the useful post and the other things hehe, aamiin. Yippie for us! :)

Selomotion On Top

Selomotion on top! Well, I'd prefer to say somewhere over the rainbow... sounds better hehe. Yap, it's about a farewell-trip with my beloved classmates. Sadly, Yoan-Anin-Tiara couldn't join and I felt like... my other heart-part has gone... Haha. Okay this is too much, but it's true. I know I know, in the situation like that we have to find other way to still have fun. But still, I need them somehow :") (I hope you guys don't blush reading this one)

I & Amy were damn bored... so we decided to...do a mini photoshoot! Hahah, Nafila as our photographer ;)

Well, Faisal, I was a bit bored that time... chill.

Farras... -__-

...okay he's not my friend. (?) kidding.

I bet you'd ask "where's your photo-class?" hehehe. Let me tell ya, my classmates are...kinda lazy to do that stuff. So yes, Selomotion ONLY has a few photos together. Hohoho




Thank you guys for that little farewell trip! And absolutely, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! Do you believe it? We are all almost been in the same class for a year. I couldn't imagine how would my life be if I got the new class soon? I wish it would be as crazy as you are, Selomotion. But seriously, you got a special place in my heart. And nothing can't replace you. :)

BIG BOSS' BIRTHDAY!

May 16th must be the best day for Yoan Odelia... she had a birthday!! There were lots of surprise! A LOT! I bet you were very happy, Yo... :')


Once again...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOAN ODELIA!!!

SELOMOTION'S BIG BOSS :D

May the odds be ever in your favor... O:)

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!

with da bday gurl ;)

Terus seperti biasa deh.. ritual suap-menyuap kue. 

dari faisal....

...hingga Gusmantap. TJIE. :))

Mmmuacch... me love you Yoan :*

Semoga suka sama surprisenya yaa. Tetaplah gila ya teman gilaku! Bukan yoan namanya kalo ga gila ;) 

Btw, sebenernya kita juga ngasih surprise video ke yoan lhooo. Isinya ucapan ulang tahun dari teman-teman semuanyaaa. Se-Poseidon tapi ga semuanya sih hehe -_-

iPodography

Had so much fun taking photos using Nafila's iPod at school...

Also promise to Afi that I could get good photos to filled-up her Instagram. And here some result... (photos below taken by me :))

btw, Afi said that 2 photos below got the most liked by people in her Instagram 

oh yep! this photo is using Farras' glasses ._.

Happy! :D